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Blog Post - Cosmic Agency, Gosia

Letter I wrote to Khila (2019) - with reference to the video Blast From the Past Part 2

Cosmic Agency, Gosia September 09, 2025

Hey guys! In my last video, Part 2, I mentioned the situation with Khila, and I told you I would share the letter I wrote to him (2019). This is it below. Please watch the video to understand the context. VIDEO LINK Gosia: "Khila, I just wanted to add more to what you asked about why from your perspective "we were not affected" when you disappeared for 4 months, as this was brought up before once and it affects me that you (plural) don´t seem to understand sometimes the situation we are in down here. And that´s why I wish to explain again. And I am crying as I write this, as I do many times inside intending to be strong at the same time (cause I am). Apart from what I already told you in the group chat.... we were always told that the contact in general is not always good for people´s lives, for their minds, that it destroys peoples´ realities, causes dependence etc. We were also told that this communication may not last forever. So with all these factors, during those 4 months, there was no other way for us but to plunge through, so to speak, trying to show you that we can make it, that we are firm and strong, that we believe and trust in the process, that we are patient, not desperate, and that our lives continue. Furthermore, we were in the eye of the pulic. We couldn´t let ourself lower the frequency too much, we neeed to keep presenting the material we still had and hope for the best. Many eyes were on us. It´s not easy. A lot of pressure. Now, on the other hand, me personally, this contact MEANS MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. I was given my Taygetan identity back! I have always known I belong to another race outside of here, I have certain feelings and memories, and with you in my life, all makes sense more and more. I would never ever want to lose you as I know I belong with you. BUT, as we were always told, you might not be here forever in this contact, and that anything can happen, I had to leave myself a HEALTHY MARGIN of being mentally ok with whatever happens. I am still down here in 3D. Not with you. And I need to be strong and centered to make through this life. So it is always a very disturbing balance for me I need to maintain. Between feeling I already belong with you and being SO DEPENDENT ON YOU, and also having to be INDEPENDENT at the same time, and that´s not emotionally easy sometimes, but I am doing best I can. Many times I cry alone, with all this happening in my life. It really is not easy not to be in any of the worlds. Neither this one anymore nor yours yet fully. I am not attached to this one anymore, but can´t be too attached to yours either yet as I don´t know at what point it might get snatched away from me. I really don´t. So I try to be centered, expecting so much and not expecting anything at the same time. I might make a video at some point, personal one, to explain all of you, both humans and you, how it actually makes me feel, all this contact, as sometimes I feel neither side can truly understand me and how it really feels to be in the middle. It´s so much more intense to deal with than anyone imagines, but we don´t come to you with those personal issues, as I know it´s not your job Khila, nor Swaruu even, to be our psychologists. We try to be moral support for Swaruu more than the other way round (although she is as well for us just by being herself). And there is a lot to handle there always, as she tells me in details most of her metaphysical time travelling adventures, personal problems, on top of that her emotional reactions to Matrix attacks etc. Hence, my need to be strong even more, even though it´s not always easy for my 3D affected linear mind (referring to timeline adventures). In those 2 years I tried to be a really good friend to her (as she has been to me) and listen to many of her inner struggles, something she said she couldn´t express with her crew because they needed to see her as a strong leader. So everyone, it seems, in this circle needs to remain strong for someone else. But, in the end, we all carry so many emotions. Swaruu, myself, even Robert. So it hurt me to see you feel I was not affected by Swaruu possibly disappearing, or your disappearance in general. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ALL MEAN TO ME. But If I start to speak like that, do you really want me to turn into someone who is so dependent? I need to be strong. It doesn´t mean I have no feelings. I don´t want to be an emotional burden for any of you, especially her. We need to be strong for her, for people who follow us, for the attacks, and for ourselves. It´s a lot to handle but we need to remain centered. That´s the only way. And being military men, you should understand it. Sorry for this extremely long letter. But I really neeed you to know some more of what I feel. If you find it convenient, please pass it to others. I want them to understand as well. I appreciate you all. Deep inside I feel very alone here. Thank you, Khila." Khila: Short answer for such a powerful and beautiful letter. Much needed to know, if you do not share we cannot know. Thank you it changes a lot. Passing it on the guys. Gosia: Oh. Thank you! I wasn´t sure about your reaction to it. Khila: I loved it. I thank you! Gosia: I am relieved. Thank you.


Note from Gosia NOW: 

"By the way, haha, I have transcended most of that struggle long ago, of being "between the worlds" and what not, and I feel much more integrated than I was in the beginning there, just so you know. I didn´t even remember those feelings, it only came back when I read the letter. Greetings to all!"