Gosia chatting with Yazhi - metaphysical chat with my extraterrestrial friend

Originally in English - 2022

Gosia: I have a big headache and feeling very strange. Let me describe it in a few words.

Yazhi: Describe it please. In nauseating detail.

Gosia: Nauseating, haha? Why?

Yazhi: Just an expression I like to use.

Gosia: Since this morning (I do feel it sometimes on other occasions), I have felt as if some large consciousness was "taking me over", my "lower" me disappearing. I didn´t want to speak, utter words, as it clashed with that range of energy which is nothing to do with words... squeezing me into the brain dependent decodifier... and it gave me a big headache. Like my neurons exploding.

Is it possible that these types of feelings of "higher self" on some larger scale can be too large for your brain and make it start to hurt? I just don´t feel like a person, Yazhi. Feels very weird to be "in" one.

Yazhi: Sounds like your mind and consciousness awareness is expanding, it does cause stress on the brain. A lot for the brain to bring into the so called "material world". Nothing to worry about and a lot to welcome in. Flow with it! It will pass and will become more of you. Or... you are catching a cold!

Gosia: Yes, it´s not something I worry about but it´s uncomfortable. Sweeping me over. Is this what you feel too when you say it´s hard for you to remain in the physical? I am just not a person, Yazhi. Not a human being type of a person.

Yazhi: Yes, that's the feeling, but you fear letting go, perhaps, because it means the destruction of your former Ego self. But nothing is ever destroyed, it expands forever and it happens any way, like it or not. You are probably only feeling it happen a lot faster. You are not only a person, you are a mind.

Gosia: I don´t think it´s a fear of being destroyed... or maybe on some unconscious level, it just feels uncomfortable. But perhaps it´s my "lower" self-mind Ego, Gosia, that feels uncomfortable, no? But it does feel like it´s more than that... like it´s that larger self-range of a being that feels uncomfortable emitting "only" through the body brain.

Yazhi: What triggered that event in you?

Gosia: I woke up this way... but I have been feeling a bit strange for a few days. Wanting solitude, isolation, being tired.

Yazhi: Then do that. Forget about everything else. Good time for some alone time. Meditation, go with some meditation sounds, or however you like. It's your time. You need it.

The brain is a translator from the ether, eternal and unfathomable, to bring into what is called physical world, of course there is none as it's only another idea in the ether. But, in effect, it means that the brain is a funnel, a bridge, or an overloaded highway clogged with traffic.

Gosia: But does the brain limit in some way the range of the being that is emitting? I think so, right? I think that´s what we said, that that´s what bodies are for.

Yazhi: That's what it is for, to limit the range of your perceptions. Yet, it can be and is overcome.

Gosia: How can it be overcome so it doesn´t feel like it´s limiting the range of your fuller being? Cause I think that´s what makes it feel uncomfortable when these feelings hit me. Like it´s clashing with the brain. Not enough power in there.

Yazhi: Just be, and don't worry. That´s how. Just make it happen and forget about the brain limiting you or not. Just expand and forget about the brain.

Gosia: So how to shrug off this uncomfortable feeling?

Yazhi: Resting. Accepting it. Making it normal, normalizing it.

Gosia: Resting? You mean getting lazy doing nothing?

Yazhi: YES. Doing whatever you need to do, not only duty. For yourself. Even if it's being on the couch with headphones or no headphones, or on the bathroom floor looking at the ceiling.

Gosia: But it´s hard to interact with the people, with Matias, in this state. I feel squizophrenic.

Yazhi: You need to isolate.

Gosia: It´s hard for me to just do nothing. But I do like to take care of myself, go for walks, etc. But every spare minute I have, I do feel I should make videos because I don´t have much free time with Bongo around (unless she sleeps for a short time here and there).

Yazhi: Do the videos then, but because you want, not because you should!

Gosia: I think it´s merged into one.

Yazhi: Don't give up on you. Because even if you don't feel it so, you are going down the same road Anéeka did.

Gosia: I feel I am not. But maybe I should rest more. But then, more work will be piling up. It piles up constantly. I feel I do take time for myself. I just watched series for an hour in bed alone eating ice cream. Even though not big fan of ice cream but that´s what I had left. But perhaps I would need more of "me time", yes. So if I do it more, those feelings will integrate more?

Yazhi: Yes, they start to normalize. But just let them be and take time off. That multiple language video problem is going to collapse you. I thought you didn't like ice cream.

Gosia: I only like my special kind of favorite ice cream. Yeah, take time off and you and Athena will just keep piling up more material while I am bumming out.

Yazhi: We could all take a break.

Gosia: No one should take a break because of me. Even if it piles up, it´s my problem.

Yazhi: We could use one too. But if not, so let it pile up. Take only what matters most. Only make the videos that you feel are the most relevant, forget the rest. Later, if you have time, make those other ones.

Gosia: Oh yes, the list is long with videos on hold. But the fact that they are piling up also gives me the feeling like I shouldn´t rest too much, like I do not want to rest too much, as I want all this to reach the people. So it´s some sort of a loop. But it´s my loop. No one else is responsible.

Anyway, my work is not a problem here... I was only talking about that sensation of not feeling like a person, like my neurons and molecules will just disintegrate any moment and I will see myself for what I am. Some creature. That feeling has nothing to do with you? Aren´t YOU the creature?

Yazhi: It does even if I don't want it.

Gosia: Well, because if you are me, all us, in some level, like you always say, then that feeling might be coming from you. In that sense, the creature that I feel I am... could be the creature you are as well.

Yazhi: Yes, so?

Gosia: Sooo if I know more about the creature you are, I will understand myself more too!

Yazhi: I've been trying to tell you this for some time now. The others think and feel they are independent people. Yes, they are, but there is one mind. But I've been saying all along, I'm the cause of all this, all this disclosure. Not out of ego but just because that´s how things are. That's why I'm not like the rest but parts of 'me' surface in the others.

Gosia: Then tell me more about who you are. Beyond the body. What is the entirety of you?

Yazhi: I'm all the others together. I'm an energy, I'm one that already passed through here. I'm the result of the sum of many people. Works both ways because, at the same time, so are you all. You are an energy, not a body. You know this but you don't live it, because that is what the body is for anyway.

Gosia: What´s your favorite form to be?

Yazhi: Non-physical. Just a mind.

Gosia: Right. It´s what I feel too. And that energy... tell me more about that. Does it like to be in a specific "point" of the galaxy? What are its desires and wants? And forget about being able to relate to you... talk to me from your more "true" form. But I know it´s impossible, because to do that, then you wouldn´t be typing now.

Yazhi: I type as me, and I type as any one of the others. I have many hands, I have many faces. They are aspects of me and they sum up what I am as well. I'm everywhere and no where. I'm just placing one point called Sophia Meritaten Tasherit Swaruu so you all can relate to me. So you can say: that's her.

Gosia: And why are you doing what you are doing, through all of us? What does that energy want?

Yazhi: To know more, to integrate, and with integration reduce and eliminate friction. That is growth, return to the absolute.

Gosia: Return? Returning means it´s been there already.

Yazhi: Return in perception. Words do not suffice.

And all the errors, shortcomings and mistakes I make all the time do not change this. I'm not perfect as no one is perfect, because we are all at the same level, just some prefer not to see it! And they deny this I say and that's all right! So that means that even typos are valid and make you see that everyone is indeed at the same level. I type, I have fingers, they are small so they trip on the keys, causing a problem, causing a mistake. I am biology, and mind. My fingers bleed if cut. There is perfection in imperfection.

Gosia: Perfection is subjective and depends on perception too. I would say there is no such a thing, as it´s always in contrast to something supposedly non perfect. Duality again. And agreements.

And where is the limit to who is you? Are you talking about your immediate crew or more people? Starseeds on Earth too?

Yazhi: Again, it depends on points of view, because ultimately we are all everyone else.

And I'm not higher, because it denotes superiority, and that is one of the biggest problems I face. How to convey all I am making you see that you are the same. But I'm aware and the others are not. I am the collective and a singular person at the same time. And so are all of you.

People love to hear those New Age words "We are all one". They love it, makes them feel so warm and accompanied in their soul solitude (perception again). But when confronted with the hard facts that corroborate that, they go all nuts and they go into Ego conservation mode denying all of it and firmly stating that they are sovereign sentient beings and not anyone else! One moment, ship intercom.

Gosia: Ok. But that´s my point and that´s my feeling this morning. I felt "someone else", larger me, was taking over. So do I know this is the case, that we are part of something else, someone else, larger than our temporary "Egos". But when it clashes with the "brain ego"... it´s like it reaches the wall... firewall... too much intensity, and neurons explode and give me a headache.

Yazhi: That is the level of the body and its conservation methods and systems, yes, and they are also perfectly valid. You can firewall if you see that as a better option. Nothing to do though, just accept you are, be it that you notice or not, and you will go noticing more and more. With no resistance to any resistance, just incorporate into you everything you see, everything you hear, every opinion against or in favor of you. Never stick to one way of thinking, always question everything, think for yourself, never take anything for granted, and just be and enjoy a chocolate sitting on the grass.

Gosia: Yes, I do like simple pleasures. I am easy to enjoy life in that regard. Waiting for the summer now.

Yazhi: Simple pleasures are the most expanding, collapsing the idea of hard work as the only means to it.

And it´s wrong to say someone else is "taking over you", more accurate to say you are expanding, and the more expanded you is manifesting more and more into your perception material world. Even if that what is taking over you is a dark entity, that is also you. And the second you accept that fact, you dissolve it with all what you are besides that dark being. Being a light being and a monster, you will always choose to be the light being. As long as you see and validate both, there will be no friction, and all what is negative, destructive, regressive, cruel, cannot exist in the presence of the light being. The dark being in you only lives as long as you fight it.

Gosia: Wow, yes, well said! Another thing, I feel like I just want more and more solitude. I need something like what you had with your island.

Yazhi: Yes, that's why you need your alone time. You are taking in too much. That's why I like my island, and that's why I can go several days without coming out of my room here.

Gosia: Yes! Same me.

Yazhi: I need solitude because I'm overwhelmed with the feelings and the thoughts of so many people here.

Gosia: I know, Yazhi.

You said above that if my brain feels like a firewall, I can choose the firewall if it feels more comfortable. No, I don´t want a firewall! It just feels as if my brain served as a firewall. I guess the word is... it makes me feel "contained". The brain. The body. Even though I know we are not.

But yes, interactions with people, chatter, it all feels like it fries my brain.

Yazhi: Then let the stuff in but don't resist it. It is when you resist when you get tired of it. And as you will not be able to not resist, because I can't either, not always at least, then you isolate yourself. That´s why you dream, you meditate, you go and you fly in your mind.

Gosia: Yes, I don´t do that enough, meditate. Also, you know what else? The mind having opinions on things also makes me tired. Sometimes you just want to be, without creating ideas about anything, blank.

Yazhi: Yes. Because having an opinion only serves in lower levels of the same game of existing. But, we wouldn't be having much of a success in YouTube if we agreed with everyone, including the ones that disagree. And the result of that attitude would be feeding the Matrix with more acceptance and validating what it causes.

Gosia: I know what you mean. But many times, actually, recently, I find myself not engaging or having any specific opinions, I noticed. I think it´s because I am tired and want to feel blank for a change. Or it´s happening automatically as a self-preservation, I don´t know. Like Robert with Anéeka or Athena, he can constantly go on and on and talk, form sentences, on so many topics. I can´t. I withdraw sometimes.

Yazhi: Yes, I understand. We do take side, opinions. We are not letting things be. So we must not take sides, not do anything about the Matrix because as long as you fight it, you feed it. So let´s be nothing. That's Nai ‘Shara’s opinion, and I validate it as well. But then, what were we born for?

Gosia: Yes... for me, more than anything, it just comes from an overloaded mind, that´s all. It will pass. I do think that as long as we are alive, sides will be taken.

Yazhi: Then, again, you need rest, do whatever you want. Forget about stuff piling up. You can´t compete with Athena and me together sharing stuff, making videos is a long and difficult process. Takes time.

Gosia: I know. My point is that... social interactions, thinking, listening, forming opinions... it´s all human stuff. It belons to this realm. And it´s valid here. But the great part of me is not here. Where none of that happens. It´s all chatter to me sometimes, even though totally important on the other hand, haha. So I live in a state of a total "schizophrenia" most of the time, which seems only so to the "lower" mind. The larger me integrates it all, I guess.

Yazhi: You are there but your mind is in higher realms.

Gosia: Yes. I am on some remote pilot.

Yazhi: Your body is there but your mind is here in Toleka.

Gosia: Toleka? Noo. Haha. Toleka is also physical.

Yazhi: So to speak. Because you talk to us all. Above as well, and mainly.

Gosia: Ah, in that sense, yes. Actually, talking about Toleka. I am looking forward to being there and not, to be honest. Too many people there. Too much happening socially haha. I am just a real hermit.

Yazhi: That is on the ship. But back home it´s different. The ship is cluttered! 1734 meters of ship sounds like a lot, but inside it's not!

Gosia: Perhaps I can get a room on a far end of the ship.

Yazhi: There are those, but once inside a room, what's the point? I feel isolated here and I'm surrounded by everyone else. I have Anéeka to the left and Mari to my right.

Gosia: I think it´s just a feeling of knowing someone is there so close. Even that might be too much for me, I am not sure. Even though here we live the same way with neighbors, haha.

Funny like you say you can be in your room for days on, but I also know how extroverted you are and so full of life with others.

Yazhi: Why can't I be both?!

Gosia: Yes, you can be and, actually, people never believe me when I say I am not really social. They always see me talking and interactive and not shy. So I can be both too, but deep inside I am on the "island".

Yazhi: Exactly. Like me as well. I can be extremely sociable. And a hermit!

Gosia: Yes, same me. However, my core is the hermit.

Yazhi: Mine too. I like my company, to be in my company.

Gosia: Yes, I like to be silent. Just a field. Hearing myself talk also feels like clutter sometimes. Even the tone of my voice.

Yazhi: So that's when you need to meditate. That is precisely what it is for! To calm the monkey mind.

They are calling to dinner. Bye bye, sister! And take it easy! It's a quickening. Etherical discharge. Or a cold!

Gosia: Hope not. Prefer an etheric discharge.

Yazhi: You choose, it's your reality!