Deep Spiritual Talk with Yazhi: Metaphysics, Past Lives & Urmah Memories

March 2023 - Originally in English

Gosia: I am interested in that memory wipe decision. I am beginning to believe I remember that decision.

Yazhi: Then you do. When you stop remembering, you can re-set and become someone else, otherwise you cannot. For example, I clearly remember having been Swaruu of Erra, and I kind of remember our talks back then. But today, I'm Yazhi. But precisely because I remember, I cannot fully get rid of who I was before.

Gosia: One time, I was walking with Bongo looking at balconies and I imagined myself living there as someone new, new identity, new life, everything, and I liked that feeling. Doing that. And I felt a sense of deep relief, even tears came. And we must pay attention to those moments, strange feelings that overcome us... so I do believe it is a memory. Of having done that before. Also, I always had this fantasy about becoming something new. Now I understand it´s not a fantasy, it´s a memory. So, sometimes, what we believe our fantasies or desires are, could actually be our memories.

You kind of remember our talks, wow.

Yazhi: Fantasies are most often not fantasies.

Just imagine yourself now, going into a special room in Helsinki where your memory is wiped, and then you come out of the other door with a blank page where you need to re-learn everything from zero, including how to go to the bathroom. And there in front of you there are two strangers that talk to you modulating their voices in a corny way while they carry you and fill you up with kisses, and you depend on them for at least 18 years. You don't remember Gosia, but Gosia is still defining who you are and your interests because she is driving you from your unconscious.

Gosia: I guess so, yes. But still, the feeling of being someone new, having new perceptions and beliefs, self-perception, is different. And that´s nice.

Yazhi: That´s why in many timelines many of us decide to forget and be able to become someone else. And in other lines we remember but our need to evolve make us become something else. Many variants. Many complicated ones.

Gosia: Do you think I am complicated?

Yazhi: From my point of view no, because I can understand you, but I also see why other people may see you as complicated.

Gosia: Why may they?

Yazhi: You have what others may see as a complicated personality. For example, you claim to be introverted, and you are, yet you can be in the public's eye all the time, but then again it drains you. People cannot understand you because your values and your knowledge of how things are and why goes beyond theirs, making it nearly impossible to understand why you may react in one or another way!

Gosia: I´m introverted but not shy, or not very. That´s why I can be in the public.

Yazhi: I see you like in a transition point, where you can become whatever you want, mostly meaning in your next incarnation.

Gosia: I think I might check out of the physical. But not before having a long life. There is stuff I still want to do.

Yazhi: You mean out of the idea that you are in the physical! You don't need to disincarnate to achieve that, what you seek.

Gosia: Yes, out of the idea. I think Matias is done with the physical. That might pull me out of it too, maybe even unknowingly. Although I like to be in the physical, nothing against it!

Yazhi: The problem is that if he doesn't work on that, he may find himself as bored in the non-physical as he is in the physical, because it is not where you are. It is about your mentality, level of consciousness and awareness.

Gosia: Haha, yes I tell him that too. However, the idea of being in the physical comes automatically with the sensation of being an "I". That is a bit... like one layered, one pointed, and I want to embrace another idea of me, which is containing many points within me. Or being formless, just floating.

Yazhi: You are who you are. Where you are does not change that. Take that as a warning (for him).

Gosia: That´s the point though, I am not only who I am. I am also what I am not. Being in the physical doesn´t let you kind of experience being who are you "not". The being has a range. Not sure I can explain this feeling precisely.

Yazhi: Of course, but my point is that you don't have to leave the physical to achieve that realization and level of awareness. Because there is no physical. The universe is mental. Dying is not the solution and it does not necessarily liberate either.

Gosia: I agree with that. However, is that really so though? I think the brain, the idea of having one, does impose a certain range of perception though, call it agreements, what have you, but there is something there. So when dying, you carry ideas BUT not having a body, you can manifest those ideas in a different way. You still carry ideas, I know. That´s why memory wipe helps. You at least feel like you are starting over.

Yazhi: That is its purpose, yes. But you can also change that. You can have a much more enriching and complicated experience being in the ethers, in the afterlife, and still have a body. Although I cannot ever describe why well enough. That is how I am. That's why I go though walls, because I become the wall, I do not relate to being in the physical, or only when I want to. It is achievable. And it took me ten incarnations to learn that you don't need ten incarnations to do that!

Gosia: Body is not the impediment, I know that, I always tell Matias this. Still, when I am walking to the store, I must move legs and it takes "time" to get there in my perception, haha. I either want to break through that perception of "time to get there", or I want to learn to teleport. Walking doesn´t feel like my default state.

Yazhi: You must overcome the stubborn idea that there is a physical, and with it matter, walls, and "here versus there".

Gosia: Yes, I feel it already inside. Deeply. That there isn´t. I am getting there. Breaking through. It´s harder here, perhaps, because of social agreements Matrix bubble, dominant frequency etc. But that is probably another idea.

Yazhi: And... not worrying about not being able to achieve that is the correct way.

Gosia: Yes, I am not worried! Check! I just know it is possible, that´s all.

Yazhi: I'll walk, never the less I'm still an etheric being. Walking or not walking does not define who I am. It's just walking.

Gosia: But when you walk, there is the perception of point A and point B, while there is a space within me that is totally space and time-less, there are no points A, B, or Cs. That´s why this perception of point A to point B feels so bizarre to me, haha. And I know it comes from the fact that I am a person, a being with identity, with the awareness, that´s what creates that linearity. Still though, on some level, I perceive it all happening at once. That´s why I don´t understand why I can´t just hop into point B automatically. It´s like I remember existing that way.

Yazhi: But when you are in point A feels the same as when you are in point B.

Gosia: It does. But you still want to be in point B now, and in a way you are already there, in some space - time, but in your linear perception you are not there "yet". You must "get there". It´s weird. I remember thinking and just appearing. Still though, it´s fun, the physical and all that comes with it.

Yazhi: That´s the whole point of the physical.

Gosia: And it´s fun making these observations. It´s something that the soul enjoys doing, I think. Others get tired, like Matias.

Yazhi: Matias is worrisome. No one can help him. Almost as if he were the perfect example of why some people do need to suffer in order to get them out of stagnation. Starve him for three days and then offer him just about any food, and he will love it. But in order to appreciate it, he must first starve.

Gosia: But he claims that´s his default. He even told me that the way I am, liking something or not liking, having a reaction to things, that that´s being dualistic. And for him all just is, neutral. Ok, in some Zen teachings, they do teach that, to be just observant of things, but I don´t think that´s his case, haha. I think it stems from something else.

Yazhi: Sounds like an excuse but if so, then he should just be in that state and not worry about it. But... the whole point of being in the physical is to be able to experience contrasts, duality. Or else, beings, katras, remain in this state forever and do not evolve. He is missing out on hating some things and loving others. It makes me feel it is a fad and only that, and should fade out when he gets tired of it. Or something that shakes him up happens, any form of accentuated duality.

Gosia: Do you think it´s possible he just is done with the physical and that´s that?

Yazhi: Makes me think that he needs a lot more in the physical so he can develop a sense of appreciation through the contrast he claims not to have.

Gosia: That´s what I tell him, that it´s a role he imposed upon himself for some reason and to snap out of it. He compares it to some war veterans who suffered a lot and then become indifferent and tired. Maybe that´s what happened, I don´t deny it. But I told him, guess what... time to get on it nevertheless and stop dwelling in the past, whatever that is, even if unconscious, because, news flash, life continues to roll and it´s not just about how much you suffered in the past. Time to pick yourself up and live.

But a question, how do you then differentiate between someone who is done with the physical for real and got everything they wanted from it? I remember Swaruu, I think, talked about it, how there comes a time when you feel nothing in a specific realm fulfills you anymore, and then you know it´s time to go and not return. Because the soul already got what it wanted out of it.

Yazhi: You end up accepting all in the physical and it no longer becomes a problem, you stop worrying about petty things and you end up enjoying life a lot more. You no longer fear death and, at the same time, you see no point in fighting the body's need for survival, and you stop thinking that things like eating meat will stop your spiritual growth. It is just part of what happens in the physical, be it just an illusion. Swaruu 9, the one you knew, only drank lemon water wanting to become more spiritual, more etheric. I can eat beef and pork three times a day and that does not make me less etherical. My point is that you don't generate apathy towards the physical. You just understand it more. I think Matias might be mistaking apathy with being in non-duality, because rejecting duality is more duality as well.

Gosia: Right! That´s how I feel too. And something you said above, that things like "walking or not walking does not define who you are". Let me ask you, what do you feel does define you?

Yazhi: I am a being on its way to fully control being in the physical and in the etheric side as one. I don't even have, or hold, just one identity. I feel I have as many as I like, being that I'm concentrated in this little girl suit.

Gosia: Well, that´s what I have been feeling too precisely, when I spoke of "no frame" being.

Yazhi: "No frame being", as in not attaching yourself to being something in particular.

Gosia: Yes. That´s the good way to put it, "concentrated" here but holding many identities as one. That´s what I was talking about earlier about the frameless state, or having as many frames as I want, none of them defining me. Or rather, moving among them all is what could define me. (I still don´t do that on the conscious level though, moving among identities, but there is a part of me that does, somewhere in there).

Yazhi: To be able to teleport, what you need is to be able to get rid of the idea of "here and there". As well as the idea of being something. This works with telekinesis as well. Where the trick is to stop being you and you become the object, also part of the teleportation process as you no longer relate to being any distance between you and the object. Of all the Swaruus only two have been able to attain telekinesis.

Gosia: I already know there is no "here and there", like in my example of point A and B, but how do I get rid of the perception that there is A and B? There is something in me, in my mind, that makes me believe so, or deludes me that there is. The illusion of the distance being there is strong, even though inside I know there isn´t any. That´s why it´s such a bizarre feeling, of knowing there is no distance and still being "pushed" to perceive there is.

Yazhi: I think it is harder to attain when you already have it as opposed as when you never had it to begin with, like me or Mari. But I don't see why it cannot be attained anyhow.

Gosia: It´s definitely harder but I know it´s in me to achieve this. Or perhaps a memory, or a future memory.

But the illusion is strong yes, it´s like in the Matrix. When they were in the Matrix, eating an apple, they knew that apple is only in their minds, but still, there was a taste.

Yazhi: That taste is the interpretation of chemical signals that were converted into electric ones. That interpretation comes from awareness, and from agreements of perception. I mean, it is more mind and mind alone.

Gosia: Right, yes! Still, it´s very strong. And that´s the trick of the game.

Yazhi: If it is strong, it means that the whole incarnation purpose is working. There is nothing wrong. It's not working with me, for example, for Mari neither. To experience limitation, duality.

Gosia: I see. Anyway, it´s fun to move with spaceships too, even if I don´t teleport!

Yazhi: Once well above, they become useless. That's why I criticize those that say that Pleiadians move in spaceships made out of their own merkabah. Beings at that level need no spaceships.

Gosia: That´s where my home is, I feel. Anyway, Swaruu´s first reading about me was Yena. Long before she told me about the Taygetan connection. I do identify with that.

Yazhi: As some of us here as Urmah.

Gosia: Really??

Yazhi: Oh yes.

Gosia: What do you mean? Like being Urmahs before?

Yazhi: Once a cat, always a cat. Yes.

Gosia: Do you remember?

Yazhi: Yes. Remembering the past life as one of those space cats. That´s why we have such affinity for pussy cats. Those of us who do remember, we mostly don't talk much about that, other Taygetans may think we are rejecting them and that is not so. And that also explains why the powerful Avyon One is escorting us.

Gosia: Wow, you never told me/us that.

Yazhi: I know I haven't.

Gosia: Do you remember when it was? I know "when" is funny though.

Yazhi: It gets shady when trying to place that in a linear way. Or when trying to talk about gender that one once was. Genders pertain to incarnation experiences, not to what a katra is. But then, of course, it is related as it is a choice, as in katras like to be one or the other most often.

I am sorry. I've been called to dinner. I must go to eat, sister. They came for me already. Bye, I loved today's chat!! Thank you. I think I needed some spiritual talk.

Gosia: Aww. Thanks! Me too! Enjoy your dinner! I go out with Bongi.

Yazhi: Thanks! Bye. Kiss for Bongo.