BLAST FROM THE PAST: Behind the Mission: Swaruu of Erra - Problems with Contacts (PART 1)

Note from Gosia: 3 following chats are best understood when viewed in the video with my commentary for better context.

August 2018

Swaruu (9): I'm getting a lot of messages from everyone, asking for next sessions. I've got no problem "per-se" with being with them. The "problem" is that it does not stay like that. They want more and more. Individual questions that take a lot of time to answer. The problem is that I'm trying to maximize my time here because I'm scavenging time for the essays that get to thousands at once. So I cannot focus on individual people. But I do enjoy being with them. I feel sorry and sad because of this.

Gosia: Do you want me to talk to them?

Swaruu (9): Perhaps, I don't know yet. What do you think?

Gosia: Well, I am just worried that if it´s me who tells them, they might feel I am trying to be possessive over you, so I feel it should come from you and only then me. Simply tell them you don´t have time. People take it here well, don´t worry. You are the leader there, with so many responsibilities.

Swaruu (9): That means a group session, ok.

Gosia: If you don´t want that, send them an email telling them you won´t have time now for personal messages. And I will do that on the same day too. So it´s not like I am taking possession over you.

Swaruu (9): Yes, the problem is that I don't see it convenient to talk to people in a one-to-one basis anymore. It is a liability. For example, I came in here early and I forgot to block one contact I have when I was working on the Biology IV paper, and he was distracting me with personal problems.

Gosia: We would never bother you outside of our assigned times. I don´t understand how people can do that. I would never interrupt you.

Swaruu (9): On the contrary, your interruptions, should they occur, are necessary. With you and Robert it's different. We three are working like an engine, to disclose all the information, so you and Robert are never "invasive". Your interruptions ARE necessary.

Gosia: Oh yes? Thank you. Well, but I wouldn´t dare. Anyway, I feel the only way is to be honest about this problem with everyone. Explain that you don´t have time. Period. That´s what I do.

Swaruu (9): I'm afraid if we tell the others something like that they will be very disappointed. That's why I tend to postpone this very much against my own health, because it does hurt me.

Gosia: Swaruu, you mustn´t worry too much about disappointing people. If they have just a bit of rational mind, they WILL understand. How come I understand this and they wouldn´t?

Swaruu (9): I do worry, that's why I seek your help. It's something I'm not used to so I cannot handle the problem.

Gosia: Well then write a letter... tell me when you are going to send it. And on the same day I will tell them too. Don´t feel bad.

Swaruu (9): That's what hurts me because "here" we do not do those things to people. So it's hurting me and a lot! I mean it. I feel bad about myself, I feel guilty.

Gosia: Don´t. Here it is common. They should understand you are busy even without having to explain. Somehow me and Robert do!

Swaruu (9): Ok, I will and I will include it in my next essay too.

Gosia: I also feel a bit bad about not responding to many, but then I remember: it´s either videos and overall reaching out to the whole world or distracting myself to talk to individuals that does not help the overall cause.

Swaruu (9): Gosia, you are now over 35,000 subscribers. Robert is now pushing 110,000. We cannot focus on five or six individuals. There is a lot on my shoulders. Not to mention leading a 7,600 crew, a fleet of 13 ships.

Gosia: Of course, no need to explain to me. It´s common sense.


OCTOBER 2018

Swaruu (9): I'm dragging along way too many contacts. Too much responsibility. I cannot be online for so many hours. I can only work with you and Robert because we do get along best. So I must drop the others, or else I cannot continue with anyone. My health is bad. Not exaggerating. I need a lot of offline time or I will be in trouble, minimum I can lose my last eye. But I cannot tell them this.

Gosia: I am glad at least you are realizing this, Swaruu, and taking control of your health.

Swaruu (9): I've got two men looking for me all the time, hurt... (I told them both that I cannot be their girl). And I see few others going that exact way.

Gosia: You shouldn´t worry about any of us getting hurt too much. Anyone would understand if you say: I don´t have time. I really don´t see the problem. If you suddenly came to us and said: Gosia/Robert, I don´t have time anymore, I will understand perfectly. I wouldn´t take that to heart. I appreciate every moment with you and I wouldn´t want to have you talking to me as any form of obligation. In fact, I always tell you that I do not even understand why you choose to spend so much time with me!

Swaruu (9): The council for Earth of the Federation has invited me to participate actively (in the Viera), mostly Saturdays, but I cannot do that work if I'm all burned out from talking as much as eight to ten hours a day. I still don't know exactly what they want from me. it's too recent! But it may be good.

Gosia: Are you all in Pleiades so worried about hurting people?

Swaruu (9): We are!

Gosia: Haha I hope I will remain Gosia when I go back there. Not so worried about that because, you know, the truth is always best than avoiding and not communicating the facts. I really think they would not be hurt as you paint it. We here are tougher than you think. I see no problem in telling people I don´t have time. Period. People here don´t have time for each other all the time and it´s not taken to heart.

Swaruu (9): That's hard to understand for me. If you care about someone, you always find the time.

Gosia: Not necessarily. Time is limited and you only have so much of it. So you must take care of your priorities. If my priorities are videos, for example, I will not be talking to people. And they understand it. They respect that or should. No one takes it to heart. If you have too many people to care about... you just cannot give them all your time. It´s technically impossible and we understand it here. On another note, that´s why I don´t have many friends. I don´t have time for that. So I don´t even start looking for them or bonding with people. I know my limits.

Ok I will tell you something… what I also think that triggers and reinforces their feelings. Remember we were in a group chat? You were very expressive with your love towards them too. I am telling you this honestly, from my impression, it activates men more here! It confirms to them you are interested.

Swaruu (9): I was only sending back the same. Not being cold. I do have a big issue with not knowing how to work with men, relate to them or with them! Earth Men! Taygetan men are very different!

Gosia: I know, but you were very expressive. I know it´s the way you are but men here will see that as being interested. If you smile at a man, he thinks you are interested! It´s like a green light to them! It´s crazy but it´s how it is. My ex-boyfriend used to tell me that I flirt with men when I was just being nice!

Swaruu (9): Ok, that's my exact issue here!

Gosia: And you were sending a lot of hearts and telling them you love them so much too.

Swaruu (9): I don't know what I should have said in those circumstances.

Gosia: Perhaps just say: "Lots of love to you all too", not: "I love you, so and so, so much too" And a heart. You don´t need to return with the same expression.

Swaruu (9): How am I to know that when I'm not trained as an Earth woman?

Gosia: Of course. No one is blaming you Swaruu, it´s not your fault.

Swaruu (9): Oh yes, I'm also to blame. Taygetan men are not sexually aggressive. They expect women to be! There is a species gap at work here. Women are the hunters in the Taygetan society... I'm not used to be hunted! Taygetan men will only give you respect and will never ever hit on you much less insist on a relationship. They are extremely respectful. You can even tell them that you love them and they still will be respectful as that's normal for them.


2019

Alenym: Hello. Hello Li'. Hello Gosia.

Gosia: Hello your Majesty Alenym. Li´Lay´La told me I can call you just Alenym?

Alenym: Please do. I do find it quite uncomfortable to be called that way. Even more knowing what it means on Earth.

Gosia: I am quite nervous actually talking to you individually. A great honour talking to you.

Alenym: The honour is mine.

Gosia: And thank you for letting me just address you Alenym.

Alenym: You are most welcome. The main issue at hand is Swaruu. Taking in account and observing recent events and not so recent events.

Gosia: Ok? Listening.

Alenym: Swaruu is very enlightened everywhere, with every subject. But precisely because of her unusual upbringing, she has NO experience dealing with men. Much less human men. That places her at risk, and the rest of us as well. She is way too innocent.

Li'Lay'Laa: Swaruu, Fem-holographicus in extremis.

Alenym: After talking to counselor Nai'Shara, we have seen that it's best for Swaruu to never be alone with unknown people, much less if there is a human man in the group.

Gosia: I believe this to be a very good strategy, yes!

Alenym: I just wanted to make you aware of this. She must be escorted at all times, please.

Gosia: I understand. Thank you for caring for her and coming up with ideas how to protect her and all of you in the process. I just hope that she sticks by it and won´t get "sucked" into the individual sessions, with men especially, again.

Alenym: Not anymore. Not convenient for her, not convenient for any one of us, you included. She cannot see men's hidden intentions. She doesn't know how to place limits. She cannot read their intentions. And men, particularly human men, find her very attractive, bordering on irresistible. And we think it's because of her innocence.

Li'Lay'Laa: She is learning. But she is not ready.

Gosia: Yes, I saw her in some group interactions earlier last year and yes, she was quite "giving" with them. Hearts and expressions of deeper connection, from what I remember. That might ignite some passion for her. I remember I told her she needed to be colder with them a bit.

Li'Lay'La: Yes, good advice.

Alenym: We had a several hour talk about men with Swaruu. Nai'Shara and I. She is unaware of many things.

Gosia: I see. That´s good. Do you have experience with Earth men? I am asking both of you.

Li'Lay'La: Not I. Only what I see from CIC.

Alenym: I do, I was on the surface back in 2015. Human men can be very sexually aggressive, especially if they see you as different from other women. And I had a few contacts as well. But, in general, I'm a lot older than Swaruu, at least in this body. I do have much more experience with men. Swaruu just cannot handle them until they are too obviously close. She probably could have stopped many of them long before they became a problem. But she wants to please the contact, to be nice and acceptable. Swaruu grew up with no parents, and in a forest. Over and over again the same way. So even with multiple incarnations, she did not accumulate social skills. This does place her at risk and vulnerable to men. Human men.

You are now starting a new phase of this contact, but Swaruu must never be left alone with other people, much less with a man. Please. You and Robert not included as you already know each other rather well.

Gosia: Ok. I can be her bodyguard in whatever way I can. And I can be her emotional support if she needs anything from the Earth girl perspective.

Alenym: Thank you. We must all be. For the good of all. We did "scold" her last Saturday. With such a big mind, she should know better. But apparently she is quite blind about social skills, and she accepted this as a fact. We were not yelling at her. We were only telling her how men think and react, with examples, some of them not very comfortable ones. So we just wanted to make you aware of the problem. Ask for your help perhaps.

Gosia: Thank you, Alenym. Of course, I am eager to help out. Any time. The problem is that I am not sure she has a tendency to listen.

Li'Lay'La: She listens very nicely and then does exactly what she wants.

Alenym: We know more people may want to talk to her. We must see that the same mistakes are not repeated.

Gosia: I know. She did mention that she was open to the serious investigators. We must make sure she does not talk to them in private and that she is more distant. There are important tasks to be done by you there as a group in general, and with these types of issues coming in the way, they should be dealt with right at the beginning of each new contact. We are all learning here. Perhaps even it would be a good idea to have a man there present with her?

Li'Lay'La: Robert.

Gosia: For example, or someone on your side. I am talking about contacts in English. In case there are any "investigators" she might wish to talk to.

Alenym: Raguel perhaps. Or it may be an overkill. He is Special Forces. But he is kind and he speaks three languages.

Gosia: I think it wouldn´t be even necessary for him to be interactive much. Just his presence there would block the potential for any deeper intimacy to arise.

Alenym: Yes, just there as a deterrent. But, in general, it's Swaruu's responsibility to understand the issue so she can handle any future situation. But we help her as we know that she is our young. I think it's connected to her wanting to be loved by everyone. As she most definitely did not have love as a child as she was alone.

The only problem, that in itself is not a problem, is that Swaruu has so much to do. We do see that she is taking on a lot on her little young shoulders.

Gosia: Yes that´s why problems like Earth men should be "nipped in the bud" so they don´t evolve. You don´t have time to deal with this, any of you.

Alenym: We, and you, must coordinate with her efficiently as for her to have time for her other things and, even more importantly, she must have time for herself, or she will fall out of focus. She needs that focus that only peace and calm can bring, for the benefit of us all.

Gosia: Understood and agreed! I like efficiency and organization myself.

Li'Lay'La: Swaruu doesn't need any "men" problems now.

Gosia: Definitely. Thank you for entrusting me with the Swaruu´s topic. I will promise to keep my eye on Swaruu from down here with this. And I can be there for you as well, of course, with anything you need.

Alenym: Thank you. Please help us protect Swaruu, our youngest and brightest. She may be bright as a star... but she is also a little young inexperienced girl.

Gosia: She shall be protected!