BLAST FROM THE PAST: Behind the Mission: Sophia Swaruu (Yazhi) - Issues with Age (PART 1)

For a better comprehension, it is recommended to watch the video with Gosia´s commentary.

2019

Swaruu (9): Chiqui, since she arrived, has been trying to trick us into thinking that she is older than what she really is. She is very good at it but she cannot fool me. Yes, her mind was (past) more expanded than mine but she forgot one critical thing. As we live together and share the same frequency and genetics, whatever she knows, I now know. So there is no way she can hide things form me. Or me from her. But it's ok. I'm still me and she is still she. But she, Chiqui, is not 13.

She tried to sell us that she was 17. Didn't work so she settled for 13. No, naughty girl, not even, yes she is nine. She is just a master at makeup and wearing false things under her clothes to look more like a woman, and she wears heels and I never wear heels. That's because she is shorter than I. And that's enough with wearing stuffed bras. She is fooling no one now.

Gosia: But why does she want to be perceived older?

Swaruu (9): Because she lost her mother at nine. As she remembers everything in her past lives, she had to behave like an adult for survival purposes. She found herself alone at nine. Tough life! So she portrayed herself as older for her safety. But here that's no longer necessary.

Gosia: Why does she still feel that need around you though?

Swaruu (9): Because it's a liar liar pants on fire situation, she must keep up. But I told her that it was enough. And then we did argue. Because she is very young and all she did was run to Suzy and then she jumped right here. Right from Scotland. Yes, she is Meritaten Tasherit, but a very young one! And because she wants to keep up the charade about her age. She is not 13, enough is enough.

And she wants to do adult things, when she must be a girl. And she is always showing off her powers, and that's making all the crew uncomfortable. She insists she is 13. Like I don't remember what I looked like at 13, and I was a lot more mature than that! Come on, she even still smells like milk, like a baby! We are friends again, but we both feel hurt as a little girl she did call me names!

Gosia: But why does she still want to play a role? What´s her explanation for that?

Swaruu (9): That she is a lot more capable than a 9-year-old, and I don't doubt it! But yet, she is still nine and she must live her nine years of age, not live as my age at nine. There is no hurry! She must learn patience and go tend her dolls and robots!


2020

Gosia: How do you feel in general these days?

Yazhi: Not to good, honestly. This COVID thing is getting to me. You know, what is going on in general with that, because I do see it as grave for humans, could be the end of current civilization. Makes me sad and I carry that. And I know I shouldn't!

Gosia: Well then stop carrying it! Then I will carry Second World War. Just because.

Yazhi: I do feel very sad for all the people. We understand what is going on. We understand why it's not our responsibility. But it still hurts. Knowing what could come next! I watch Brighteon all day and it´s all COVID there.

Gosia: You need to place your attention on something else. Not on the problem as much. But on remaining strong and in your field yourself, on solutions, on expanding thoughts, etc. If you only see the problem and suffering, it will contain you there.

Yazhi: Makes me bitter and angry, and I end up swearing, and the others don't like me swearing. All that is causing me to be kind of depressed. I'm always looking for something I don't know on the Internet. And I find it, but it's not worthwhile the emotional drain.

And I feel upset with humans in general, because it does bother me to see they are not able to get it as a whole. It's painful. But I notice that even the races that want to help don't know how. Including Taygetans and Urmah.

Gosia: What would be necessary to know how to help?

Yazhi: Change in Federation policies? Mass ET rebellion? The Taygetans have their hands full going against the Federation. I mean legally through Alcyone and here going against some directives, as many as they can. Not enough by far though.

Gosia: Why not organize yourselves? I mean, it seems you have the same problem as humans. Not being able to unite, being scattered, overpowered by the controllers etc.

Yazhi: Not as scattered as humans, but there is some of that here as well, yes. They really don't know how.

And humans don't understand themselves to be unable to get it. It's we who understand it this way. Our realities and worlds don't agree. And, as you know, there isn't only one reality, there is one for each person. We are fighting something that does not correspond to mass reality. But we fight because that's what we feel we must do.

I feel I can't do more because I'm still a kid... and I need Athena for this. But Athena is Athena and not Yazhi. The same and not. But I do feel frustrated when I see myself in the mirror. I feel sad and in a hurry to grow up!

Gosia: You need Athena for what? I mean, the adult you for what?

Yazhi: Yes, I feel I could do more if I would have had time to grow up first before facing all this. Perhaps I'm wrong and that's my perception. But I still feel that way.

Gosia: In what way you could help more if you were an adult?

Yazhi: I'm not "The Doctor". I'm the kid! Kind of denigrating!

Gosia: But for the public, our public, it matters not. It would only matter for the Federation, taking you more "seriously".

Yazhi: I feel I could make more of a fuss in a Joan of Arc style perhaps, or I'm only been factitious. I'm only sharing how I feel. I know that for words, it's the same how the person who wrote them looks. But I do fantasize and expect to be stronger and wiser, more intelligent, when I grow up. So I could do more in theory. I mean with the Federation here.

Gosia: Well, if you want to do something, a fuss, get yourself in the immersion, in the adult body, full memory.

Yazhi: I thought about that, I even told Senetre and they talked me out of it, because I would be a kid in an adult body. It's not only about the body, it's about the mind, the mind growing up in its time and taking its time to grow up and mature.

Senetre said that if I go into the pod and come out adult three months later, because that is as long as it will actually take, I would look adult. But my interests wouldn't have changed, and I would want to play videogames and dolls, and I wouldn't have the body that goes with those interests and maturity of mind state, so it looks like I'm stuck in this little body for years to come. The pod heals and builds body, not mind.

Gosia: Well, you are doing enough as it is. And you will grow older soon enough. There may still be time to influence them.

Yazhi: I do worry that by the time I'm as old as what Swaruu 9 was, Earth will be a post-apocalyptic hell hole.

Gosia: I have a feeling there will still be stuff to do. We all have "what ifs" and we wish something else for ourselves thinking it would be better for our "job". Like me, for example, I also think that not having a full memory, or at least partial, is blocking me to do a better job.

Yazhi: I wonder if my bladder grows with age or if I'll always have this annoying little tank.

Gosia: Hahaha, it must grow. It depends on what you drink or eat, I imagine. It either speeds up or slows down urine production. But you know more about that than I do!

Yazhi: I'm told all kids are in a hurry to grow up, and adults wish they were kids again. So what do I know?

Gosia: Oh no, I don´t wish to be a kid hahaha. I am happy where I am. So that´s a myth.

Yazhi: Because your mind matches your body.

Gosia: Yeah, I know I am older than even the rest of the crew.

Yazhi: Yes.

Gosia: Most of them at least.

Yazhi: All of them. The oldest is Raguel. And he is not 40 yet.

Gosia: That´s a baby. I am like 135 haha. Lots of hugs. I must go now. Stay away from Brighteon. You know enough. And also try to be in a more acceptance about this whole mass soul exodus. If that´s what they want, it´s what they will get.

Yazhi: I will stay away from Brighteon. Yes. Bye, sister!


2021

Yazhi: I know people are starting to see me as a show off or as overexaggerated.

Gosia: Not us on Earth!

Yazhi: Interesting! I would say there especially.

Gosia: Not at all. No one sees you as that here.

Yazhi: Wow ok, noted, interesting it is! I told the others here that if I show them what I can do, then I'm a show off, and if I don't, I am a liar. So there is no pleasing them!

Gosia: We were talking to Anéeka today and she is not happy with some things, and that is mainly because you seem to be playing tricks on them mentally, and they are tired and spooked by the ship as it is. I was defending you. Because it bugs me that they seem to be so closed minded! "She is doing strange things". Oh buuhuu... And how do you expect humans to have the open mind then? It boggles me! Even makes me upset.

Yazhi: I was trying to leak what I can do slowly because I see they don't take it well. Again, there is no pleasing them! I already told them flat out what I can do.

Gosia: On one hand, I understand Anéeka and them, because yes, I am down here, so it´s different, it´s easier for me to keep an open mind, I don´t see you at front of me crossing solid surfaces haha. Anéeka said: "We start to question reality". Well, that´s the idea though no? Go beyond the limits! Are we explorers or not?

Yazhi: It is not so much like they cannot handle this, but what it means to them when confronted with certain subjects where they are sensitive, or are sensitive to those subjects.

Gosia: Well, I told

Anéeka: "You can´t change Yazhi. So instead of fighting that, change your perspective and celebrate her uniqueness. If not, it´s not a good feeling to be constantly questioned, or rejected, or confined. No wonder she escapes". Anéeka said: "Oh but she has such a pretty face, she would look so good all cleaned up. You didn´t see her with chapped lips and all skinny". I understand that too, they care. They may not understand you but they care.

Yazhi: I may be pretty, but I am feral. I am not a kitten inside a fancy household. I am an alley cat! And remember we are not the same species, Taygetans and I. Do not expect me to behave like one.

Know this. I am not doing all this randomly. I have a plan. And it takes time. For the better of us all.

Gosia: Us all? What´s the plan?

Yazhi: To be in peace. For them all to understand that they are and they can be anything they want and no need to suffer. That is in their heads, all of you, all of them. That's why I don't care if I get hurt. It is all learning and it hurts to be alive. I want them all, everybody, to understand that they are their thoughts. They say they understand. You all do. Mechanically or even really well. But you still cannot integrate that, the full meaning, into your subconscious, where all the reality creating "magic" takes place!


2021

Anéeka: Hey!! How are you guys?

Gosia: Hey, any news?

Anéeka: Not really, just more of the same.

Gosia: What do you mean? More people upset with Yazhi?

Anéeka: Yes, it’s not going well, honestly. Half the crew is kind of against Yazhi, the other half is with her, and that creates division. Now with the issue that Yazhi sent photos more than a year ago of Swaruu 9 as if they were of herself, supposedly because she had already “grown up,” and it turns out that’s not true.

From one group’s point of view, those photos are of Swaruu 9, but from the little one’s point of view, they are her, because Swaruu 9 and she did equalize 100% in consciousness, not like with Athena or Mari. So from the little one’s perspective, it is her. But it’s causing a lot of stress and confusion here, bad atmosphere.

Gosia: So how is Yazhi feeling?

Anéeka: Yazhi, very bad. She withdraws, stays in her room, doesn’t want to come out. And that hurts me a lot, and those of us who understand her.

Gosia: Poor thing. Well, Yazhi has to understand not everyone will understand her. She doesn’t need everyone’s approval.

Anéeka: And on top of that, they scold her, when she is just a small girl with abilities, and she gets bored, so of course she will make mischief. But still…

Gosia: I don’t see this whole issue as something impossible to solve, honestly. If they don’t want to learn more about what she does, or understand it, then Yazhi should just leave it and focus on other things. Can’t it be like that?

Anéeka: No, it’s not serious, but in the meantime it creates noise!

Gosia: Maybe what’s missing is focusing on other matters, other events.

Anéeka: Exactly. When there is nothing better to do, of course the level of drama increases unnecessarily, and it wouldn’t be like that if their attention were somewhere else. But in the meantime, the girl suffers.

Gosia: Well, there is nothing else for Yazhi to do but try to free herself from wanting to please everyone. If they don’t understand her, then fine. In the end, we are all alone inside in some way. And there will never be anyone in the world who accepts and understands us 100%.

Anéeka: Yes. A lot of that. The need to please everyone has caused a lot of damage here, you know that.

Gosia: Well, it’s some psychological tendency in all of us, to one degree or another.

Anéeka: Some more than others here, but yes, very marked in me, in Yazhi, and in Swaruu 9, at least.

Gosia: I thought Yazhi was more independent when it comes to pleasing others, especially with the topics she gives us and all that… she doesn’t seem to worry about public acceptance, for example. The same should apply up there.

Anéeka: Yes, Yazhi is like that on one side, she doesn’t care much about others’ opinions, but on the other she is still sensitive.

Gosia: And how are Mari and Tina with all this?

Anéeka: Fine, those two are calm. It only splashes onto them because they are on Yazhi’s side. And as always, this is still a women’s issue — the men stay out of it, they don’t want to give opinions because it only gets them in trouble. But they get criticized for backing Yazhi, praising her, or using her as an example for everything.

Gosia: Haha. Well, maybe if they dared to give their opinion, it would help dissolve the problem a bit. They have the right to speak. And maybe that would bring some masculine balance to the situation, which sometimes is needed.

Anéeka: Like I told them the other day, you and Robert only see, or mostly see, the “wise” Yazhi, because you don’t see the little one. But here it’s the opposite — they only see the little girl and not the “wise” one. Because that’s what each person has in front of them.

Gosia: Yes, I know. But I doubt my perception would change even if I saw her in front of me. She could look like a frog and I would still think the same about who she is.

Anéeka: That’s because you already have a concept of how she is inside. But here they don’t know her inside like you do, they only see the one who threw chocolate all over the floor.

Gosia: How do they not know her like I do? They have her there every day. I only have her a little. I don’t understand that.

Anéeka: That’s how it is. They can’t see her, they only see the little girl. It works like a filter, I don’t know. That’s where their “5D thinking” ends.

Gosia: But she surely isn’t just throwing chocolate on the floor all day. You can talk to her about serious things too… and then you get to know her inside.

Anéeka: Because of how they’ve treated her here, it’s hard for Yazhi to open up the way she does with you.

Gosia: I understand. Of course. If they already show they don’t understand her and form different ideas about her, she won’t open up more.

Anéeka: Here she only talks about her dolls, about what she imagines, what she’s going to do in her room, what she’s going to play, that she’s hungry… rarely does she say anything of weight.

Gosia: At least she still has you, Athena, Mari, and the others who support her. I remember the times when she almost had no one, only you and maybe a couple of others. She used to come almost every night to chat with me. That’s why in the end she went to the island too.

Anéeka: Yes, but now it has split here into two sides. Several people understand her and defend her, which causes conflict with the others because they accuse us of being under her “mind control.”

Gosia: She talks about dolls because she acts according to their expectations. Maybe she does the same with me too. Although I don’t have that many expectations. She can change, it doesn’t matter to me.

Anéeka: Yes, yes, and if you observe carefully, she does the same online.

Gosia: I really think what’s missing is some distraction in another direction. Some event that would unite everyone. A common cause. Some mission together in immersion… but this already bores you.

Anéeka: Ok, we’ll think of something. Seriously.


2021

Gosia: Why are you sad? Everything ok with you?

Yazhi: I'm not wanted here. I must go.

Gosia: Yes, you are! Where are you going to go??

Yazhi: I'm making everyone crazy here.

Gosia: What about if you just stop showing your powers so blatantly? Let them adjust little by little.

Yazhi: It's too late, and I thought they would help. I cannot be a kid, and I cannot be a grown up here, because I'm unwanted, sister. For one reason or another. I have no choice.

Gosia: I did tell Anéeka that I feel the crew must stretch their minds. I mean, come on, what we had to deal with here adjusting to your ideas is also mind twisting. Anéeka says they are at their limit. Well, so are we many times, I told her. And I also told her mind has no limit. And that it´s only her perception of herself that it has the limit.

Yazhi: I wanted them to ask how I do what I do, and no one really did.

Gosia: I told them to ask, Anéeka said they do ask. And that you make diagrams and that it is all more understandable this way. Raguel also said that he is beginning to understand.

What do you think to do? There must be some solution.

Yazhi: I must move away. Be on my own. Back to Viera or to a desolated island. I'm only doing harm here. This does not mean I need to cut off communication with you.

Gosia: That´s a relief. However, I am still sad because of all this and because of how you feel. What island?

Yazhi: As I did before, some place in South Pacific where nobody goes. I cannot be a kid and I cannot be an adult. They think I'm just menacing. It is not their fault, they simply cannot adapt. And I'm feeling very uncomfortable here.

Gosia: I am sorry. I wish I could do something to help.

Yazhi: I'm not joking, my head hurts and I don't feel like talking to anyone here. They care, but I'm still an annoyance for them. I know! They say I have them all constantly running because of me, and they are tired.

Gosia: Then why don´t you do less of those things that annoy them so they don´t have to worry all the time? I mean, it´s a mutual effort to adapt. It´s a community living. I see it as both sides needing to adjust to one another.

Yazhi: I hardly go out of my room.

Gosia: Well, no need to be that drastic. Just a little bit of compromise here and there.

Yazhi: I don't know.

Gosia: I feel sad for you. I hope it solves somehow. You need a group session with them. A council.

Yazhi: Most see placing me in a med pod for three months would solve the situation as I would come out of there at age 20 - 21 and I would stop doing all these childish things. But then, I would automatically become a menace for some others.

Gosia: How long do you plan on staying away?

Yazhi: No plan. Until I'm sick of being there. I'm used to being alone. I need to create my own bubble there. It needs to be just about in the remotest place on Earth. I feel so silly now! I'm just feeling so not myself.

Gosia: Why not? I mean, a few weeks ago you were completely happy being Yazhi. What changed?

Yazhi: What changed is me realizing that they don't like me as a child.

Gosia: But that´s them. Why does it change the way YOU feel about yourself?

Yazhi: I just realized that I am not well here, and that I was deluding myself.

Gosia: Are you going to tell them when you leave?

Yazhi: I don´t think so.

Gosia: Why don´t you take someone with you to the island?

Yazhi: Because I need to be in my own timeline perception to alter my look. Because my body is biologically eight years old. I feel so silly! They are calling me to dinner. Catch you later, say hello to Robert. Sorry about all this trouble. I really am! Don't know what got into me!


Another chat

Yazhi: I fear it may not be sane for them, or for you, what I am planning to do, how I am planning to grow older. Because I can go away as a little girl and come back as the adult Swaruu two days later. Or less. I can time jump. I've done it countless times before. I know how. My time markers are now ultra precise, I will be back here, in this timeline, not in an alternate one.

Gosia: And how exactly is your body going to grow old in that time jump?

Yazhi: For this body, it will be like ten years, for you and them it will be a few hours.

Gosia: No way... so you will have to wait there ten years?

Yazhi: No, because for myself in perception I can accelerate that! Because I can alter time perception with the ship itself. I can alter the SIT time.

Gosia: So you won´t have to LIVE there in the future for all this time?

Yazhi: No, I won't live it. I won't be conscious of ten years. But... is it sane for them and for you?

Gosia: Me, don´t worry about haha. I have never seen you anyway. How do you accelerate SIT time?

Yazhi: Not being conscious. But the trick is that I don't need to time jump ten years. All I need is to time jump like three months, and back here again.

Gosia: Holly molly. You mean you can put yourself in med pod? Or something like that?

Yazhi: Exactly. I love it when you follow me! When you think like me. So weird, so rare!

Gosia: Hmm, thanks! That´s risky though. There will be no one there to take care of you!

Yazhi: The ship can! So I go, I time jump, place myself in a med pod, and I'm out in three months SIT time, and the pod activates all my DNA and I'm suddenly 20 years old, standard age after med pod.

Gosia: You would be back here in three months? You said in two hours before?

Yazhi: No, I can go, do that and come back in like an hour. For you and for Anéeka and the rest. For me it will be three months SIT time, but I will not feel it because I will be unconscious.

Gosia: What if something unpredictable happens?

Yazhi: At full warp? No one can touch the ship.

The T-shirts... I was trying to teach them something. To think out of the box. To solve problems, not to think they are Anunnaki all knowing. No one is all knowing!

And I already tried showing my "powers" less, they are not taking it well. I can't help being mischievous. Because it´s not mischief for me. It's their need to control and to educate a little girl as how they see one should be. For me, it is simply freedom. But they don't like me climbing up a simple tree, they make it a big deal! But as Swaruu, the fully grown, psychologically they say it's her responsibility. So they let her climb whatever she wants. See the difference? I'm not doing wrong things! They are only wrong in their minds! How is it that I can talk about this with you better than with them, powerful Taygetans!?

Gosia: Haha that´s what I don´t understand! On the other hand, they also know that you still want to be treated and taken care of as the kid. They said you yourself said it when you fell off the tree. That it was your call to them: "take care of me."

Yazhi: Yes, but I also said they had to find a new way, not treat me as a silly sissy fragile girl because I'm not that! And they can't.

Gosia: Right. Evolve a new way of treating you, yes. But I think with all the stress they have with all that´s happening on Earth now, and now this, they are tired. I do understand that too.

Yazhi: THEY prefer to get all stressed and make a fuss! Ok. Experiment is over. They will be freaked out again! They will have their Swaruu back. But it will not be Swaruu 9, it will be me, Swaruu 12 but as an adult!

Gosia: This worries me. Your plan. You disappearing in some hyperspace med pod.

Yazhi: I cannot be me in this under-aged suit! Everything involves risk. But I can handle it. And they are yelling at me again. Back in a bit.


FEW MINUTES LATER...

Yazhi: Are you really coming up soon?

Gosia: Am I?? Who said that?

Yazhi: No. Let me re-phrase.

Gosia: Do.

Yazhi: You are coming up, aren't you? I mean for real! Whenever that is ready!

Gosia: Is that even a serious question?

Yazhi: Not rushing you.

Gosia: I will be so upset if you leave me here hanging!

Yazhi: I won't! I just want to hear it from you, that's all.

Gosia: Really? Why do you want to hear it from me? (that flatters me though for some reason)

Yazhi: I just felt the need to, right now. Because of what I'm about to do!

Gosia: But how does it connect to me coming up? Ok. I do want to come up. Whenever I am done, yes. If you needed to hear that.

Yazhi: No need to rush, but do come up! It connects to seeing that even if something would happen to me, these Taygetans will take good care of you.

Gosia: What do you mean?

Yazhi: I'm just making sure I can tell them that you must be brought up, no matter what, and they should understand that. But I'm just being sentimental and redundant, because I know they are going to do that! I'm talking about this because I'm moving away now for three months, and I do get sentimental. I do feel responsible for you and for Robert.

Gosia: Holly molly... what are the risks though?

Yazhi: Many things can go wrong, mechanical failure, med pod failure making me come out at age 13, who knows. Ship will be stable and there is no ship more dependable than a Suzy! This is not her first rodeo!

Gosia: I worry. Isn´t it better to grow older slowly? One year in a week, you can do it, you said.

Yazhi: Suzy is primed and ready to go. Gosia, what I see is that they are at their limit here. So much that at my return I sill not land here, I will in the Viera. And after this, I'm not going to do anything more, I'd rather make a blouse. I am tired of this myself. But I cannot rely on one week per year.

Gosia: A few hours ago we were talking about you going on an island, now this. I adapt to your thinking as fast as your ideas emerge but still, I am worried about this idea.

Yazhi: They have me here and me them in a bad mental state. We cannot get along. So I cannot concentrate. And they say hurtful things like everything has to do with me, all the time.

Gosia: I am not sure what to say. I understand. Again, I wish I was there to see it more fully. I can´t see neither of the sides very well from down here. Although I do tend to stick with yours more always.

Yazhi: Thank you.

Gosia: When do you plan on doing this?

Yazhi: Like now.

Gosia: Wait wait, when will you be back then? Tomorrow I talk to you and you will be back already?

Yazhi: I can do this and be back tomorrow. But I ask you a very serious question. What consequences do you see?

Gosia: Consequences? Ok, let me think. Ok I think that:

1. Taygetans will be shocked but happy to see you older. Somewhat relieved.
2. Some will feel anxious I guess.
3. Matias will be like WTF since I just told him two days ago you are a child, haha. This is beside the point though.
4. Federation might want to have you back for insights.
5. Taygetans might let you be you more, since you are an adult now. But then, this also means they might expect you back in more responsible roles.

Yazhi: About the last one, then I will have to learn to say no, and to delegate.

Gosia: Ok. I don´t know what else. Suzy might get bored of sitting in the hyperspace for that "time"?

Yazhi: She is AI, they don't hold that concept. And this Suzy, although she was built in 2015, is like 10,000 years old because of all the jumps and trips. And still strong!

Gosia: Federation will feel threatened too again. Intimidated by you.

Yazhi: That's their problem. I see the point about being calmer from now on.

Gosia: About Suzy, didn´t you say earlier she liked to fly and she did get feel bored when you were not?

Yazhi: To fly is something else. I love flying, but the Taygetans see it as irresponsible to let a little girl fly, so I'm grounded. You can't ground a fighter pilot, you kill him/her. Sink the heart, feeling like a caged bird born in the wild. And I'm caged now, on many levels. I need to go climb a rock, wrestle with a snake, jump a ring of fire, you know me. The T-shirts are very calm, always like hiding in safety!

Gosia: Yes, I am the same, although not to that extreme. I can´t be contained either. I must travel, discover the unknown, go into off beaten paths where others don´t.

Yazhi: Yes. And who is coming back is not yet "another" Swaruu. It's me, 12. Only older.

Gosia: Very cool. Master you. All integrated.

Yazhi: Time jump + med pod. Science! Please understand I'm not crazy! This is science and can be done.

Gosia: Hahaha. Crazy is good. You are talking to the wrong person here.

Yazhi: That's why we get along!

Gosia: So when did you think of this option now? Last time we talked you just wanted to go to the island.

Yazhi: No, I've been brewing it for some time now. But the Taygetans don't take "crazy" so well. They also caught Raguel fighting an epic battle in the simulator, in underwear! But he is allowed, because he is an adult! I can´t do so much as look at the tree, let alone talk to it!

Gosia: You know, Anéeka said, and I was a bit surprised at her reaction: "She talks to trees!" And I go: "Dale talks to his plants too." And she says: "But the trees talks back to her!" Haha.

Yazhi: These here are not all the Taygetans, these are only these, and they are getting soggy and soft! And the tree talks back! Why? They don't believe in telepathy any longer?! It's all about frequencies! You must vibrate higher to reach the tree, be compatible with it!

Gosia: Right! Even Robert said: "If you can´t talk to trees in 5D, then where can you?" I don´t want to sound judgmental though. I am not there. Are you going to tell them about your plan? Or only after?

Yazhi: After. I must go. See you later or whenever I see you!

Gosia: Are you going NOW?

Yazhi: I'm already gone!

Gosia: Who am I talking to then?

Yazhi: I am in Suzy, the Taygetans didn't even notice I'm no longer in my room! I'm the little one. I haven´t time warped yet! But I am in my Suzy now. Toleka AI will explain everything to the Taygetans.

Gosia: Holly crap. Ok, I let you go. Please make sure you have it well thought out and that you take care of everything! Does hyperspace have direction? Can you leave some hyperspace address to whoever?

Yazhi: Yes, to Toleka, already done!

Gosia: Ok. How are you feeling? Nervous? Excited?

Yazhi: No. I'm feeling very mischievous! They will be very angry at me.

Gosia: Oh my, let´s see what another pandora box gets open, if any. Please return safe! I will be here waiting.

Yazhi: Bye bye sister!


2021

Anéeka: Hello, Robert. Welcome. Hey G. With you, Alenym 1.

Alenym: Hello, how have you been? Greetings again.

Robert: Hello, Alenym. We are well, thank you. And you?

Gosia: Good afternoon! Welcome, Alenym! Hello, Anéeka. We are well. Marching along. Thank you. And you?

Alenym: Very well too, thank you for asking. I just wanted to offer you my support and say hello.

Robert: Thank you very much.

Gosia: Thank you for wanting to greet us and for the support. It is appreciated.

Alenym: Thank you to you. Now, regarding Yazhi. Without wanting to be imposing, I did give the order for her to stop the craziness, as this is not the moment, and to come back up with us. She is already on board. She is in delicate health but will be fine.

Gosia: You are seeing her for the first time? How does she look? Is she like Swaruu 9?

Alenym: That is also what I wanted to talk to you about. About how she is, or how she looks. Without wishing to increase the problems.

Gosia: Oh oh, here we go haha. How does she look?

Alenym: I know credibility factor nowadays is something fragile. But when I sent Khila and Raguel to get her, what they found, and what came aboard the ship today, is not how she appears in the photos. Nor how she herself described herself to us.

Gosia: “What came aboard”?

Anéeka: That’s why she wouldn’t let us see her.

Robert: And what is it that came aboard the ship?

Anéeka: A cave girl.

Gosia: Hahaha. Ah, but that’s from her adventures. Hair messy, dry from the sand, etc.

Alenym: That is why I had to intervene myself to inform you of this. It is the child Yazhi who came aboard, and it seems she has always been like that. Or at least at first sight. She assures that she entered the med-pod and came out as a 20-year-old, but her consciousness, her mind, brought her back to how she should be.

Anéeka: She looks like… I don’t know, about 12 years old. With her hair all tangled, like a scrub brush.

Robert: So she didn’t come out as a 20-year-old?

Alenym: Fourteen at most. Very, very thin.

Gosia: But she spent ten years on the ship, in the ether. Not only that the medical pod made her like that. That’s what she said. Or at least that’s how I understood it.

Alenym: See this in whatever way you do. I only inform, I don´t have the why. It is simply how we found her. I am not trying to explain anything. Nor do I understand what or how she does what she does. I only report how she looks.

Robert: Understood.

Anéeka: She explains that it was her mind that ended up neutralizing the med pod. She says she could, or can, change how she looks, but since she is in a low vibratory state right now, she cannot do it at this moment.

Robert: And what are the plans now?

Alenym: I only limit myself to informing, from my position of authority, how she looks, for whatever that is worth. Plans — only to remain here for now, observing.

Gosia: Understood, Alenym. Thank you.

Alenym: You’re welcome, Gosia. And thank you very much for all your support. We remain close by here.

Anéeka: According to Yazhi, ten years in the ether or the med pod does not matter, only the mind. And she says that this is like that for everyone, it is just more evident with her. Essentially, she is still the same girl who arrived. It can all be taken as everything that happened since she left this ship for her island being mischief, or however you want to see it. We are in the same situation trying to understand it, you there and us here. Extremely mischievous girl. Ok. We have to say goodbye now.

Alenym: A big hug, and we will speak soon. Keep going.

Robert: Thank you. We will.

Gosia: Alenym, thank you very much for coming and greeting us!

Alenym: You’re welcome, thank you. A big hug. I say goodbye for now. I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you for dedicating these minutes to me.


December 2022

Yazhi: I feel my mind is a bit messed up. Not focused. I accidentally set off the fire alarms here last night. I got scolded, and Mari as well for not telling that I was up to something like playing with fire.

Gosia: Why did you play with fire? More bomb experiments?

Yazhi: No, I was pyro-writing on a wooden box with a soldering stick made for electronic equipment. "Art". Basically I was burning wood. Although I do feel kind of sad nowadays for other reasons.

Gosia: Yes, I do perceive you sad. Like you are not sharing the innermost feelings.

Yazhi: I wouldn't dare share with Robert, just because he is a man.

Gosia: You are afraid of becoming a woman?

Yazhi: I am. Something like that.

Gosia: Why are you afraid? You are not there yet anyway. Long way! It would be like me afraid of getting old. I mean really old.

Yazhi: It hit me that I'm looking older, and that I'm developing.

Gosia: And why does it scare you? In my times, all the little girls couldn´t wait to become older haha.

Yazhi: I'm the kind that does not want to grow up. Like... for what? Only problems and more problems to be expected.

Gosia: There are all kinds of cool things that come with being a grown up too.

Yazhi: Men, love, people treating me differently, responsibility, people not taking care of my needs as they do now.

Gosia: Responsibilities? Only what you put on yourself, I would say. You could as well just bum out on the beach all day if you wanted.

Yazhi: I think I made it last longer but as I'm not focused, due to other things, I'm finally growing, much to my disarray. I'm also seeing how all this is affecting Mari, that is only a few years older than me.

Gosia: Well, you know you need to integrate it within yourself, whatever comes. It´s your teaching. Let me put it this way, you have nothing bad looking forward to comparing to me who has just prospects of getting older and more cripply each passing day haha. That if I stay on Earth.

Yazhi: Well, then don't manifest that for yourself, having other options! I'm just over thinking ahead. And the Taygetans treated me all these months as the one to blame for everything that went wrong. (referring to the infiltration of 2021)

Gosia: What? Again with that?

Yazhi: So I felt horrible and only wanted to hide in my things.

Gosia: I do sense you are hiding. Even from me.

Yazhi: Are? Or was... hiding?

Gosia: Was, but still even now... I feel you are still in a bit of a shell.

Yazhi: Perhaps I am. You know I had a long list of reasons not to feel too communicative.

Gosia: Of course! And it´s ok. Just sharing what I perceive of you. But it´s totally ok to be in a shell. I don´t get close to people either actually.

Yazhi: If I share who I am openly like before, the Taygetans will only see me like an egocentric little brat. Even more than what they already do. I'm not too happy with them, I feel they were cruel to me. I do resent that! Not all. But some.

I was claiming to be the reincarnation of a long series of people, mostly Swaruus, and more than one here didn't take that kindly. That does not mean I'm not what I used to say, it only means I'm keeping it more to myself as I have received only problems because of that!

I'm slowly creeping out though, you can see that! And I feel "this work" lacks a definitive purpose as of now, because of all this mess happening all this year long. I wish to correct that! Give it more sense.

Gosia: What kind of sense and meaning would you like to put into it? I do believe that every single piece of information all of you have given these years is super interesting and I want to share it all. Even if it may look random.

Yazhi: Hmm. More of a spiritual guidance purpose. Yet, that's what we already do. Anyway, it's just a feeling.

Gosia: I am open to readjusting whatever you feel needs to be done!

Yazhi: Noo. Perhaps it's only me who is out of focus. I've been blamed for causing all the problems with the trolls, and for mind controlling people to work "for me" and causing Anéeka´s sickness... how do you expect me to feel?! Yet, I do have Alenym´s support to go on with this project. But some, not all of them, only some, see only the negative because that is what was in front of them. But, you know, if I am a wasp and I sting, then... I do what I know... I sting, because I'm a wasp. If you know what I mean.

Gosia: Do what you must. I do the same. And then I just let it be. I certainly don´t go around looking for guilty ones, or the ones who "manipulate" me, if anything goes sideways.

Yazhi: I'm getting there, to think that way. That's why I no longer look at other people's videos. I'm no longer seeking external validation to our work.

Gosia: For me that would be a waste of time.

Yazhi: Yes. I'd rather think of what to say next! Or I go and burn something so the alarms go off so the Taygetans get some excitement.

Just as a matter of fact, some months ago a transformer in an electric box room near the rooms, same deck, did short circuit and there was a genuine fire and alarms and fire brigade, and evacuation and all that excitement (I declare I had nothing to do with that).

Gosia: You see, stuff like that... it´s easy to pin on someone and it´s understandable. It´s important to take on self-responsibility. But not in more complex situations. Looking for guilty ones, like in this work we do, like what those some up there do blaming you or us, I believe it´s rather not a very expanded level of thinking.

Yazhi: It had more to do with cats peeing on that electric box. And yes, I do resent that! And, according to many of them, there are so many cats on board because of... me! Me again!

Gosia: Why don´t you ask them: who is to blame for YOU all being in the orbit and exposing yourselves to danger? When a Shinonim died, whose "fault" was it? How about you all go home then? But no, you are also "guided" by something, right? By something that inspires you to be here near Earth. And we, you, Anéeka, all of us, share in that same wave of inspiration. Simple.

Yazhi: YES, YES exactly. By the way, it looks like Toleka is stuck here in Earth orbit because of a complicated political issue between Alcyone Council and the Federation concerning Earth and how it's been handled! That's a whole other subject to discuss.

Gosia: Ok, we can discuss it next time then.

Yazhi: Yes, because I must go back inside now.

Gosia: Ok. Just remember,

Yazhi: Don´t hold back. I won´t resent you for anything you are or say or do. I feel fascinated by you, and I always say you have been my best friend all this time, and someone I really understand (or try to).

Yazhi: Ohhh. Just let me get over all that what was thrown at me this year, not nice, not nice.

Gosia: If typing is a limit, then be it. But don´t feel limited by anything else with me.

Yazhi: Ok I won't!!! Thank you, that's so motivating. Thank you.

Gosia: You are welcome! You rock! You must know that. Ok, go!

Yazhi: Many hugs and love. Bye bye, sister! Yazhi out!