Your inner Child - How to Heal and Connect with him/her

Za´el: I welcome you. Thank you for being here once again.

The topic this time might not seem so important. However, it is a tool that I consider basic, or very important, when it comes to healing some traumas that accompany us in our day to day life and that make our interaction or our way of life uncomfortable, sad or painful.

In the process of working on our shadows, our inner conflicts, sometimes it can be recurrent to reach an impasse, a dead end, whose only possible answer, apparently, is always something ambiguous like "I don't know, I don't know the answer to that".

However, if you didn't allow yourself to use the tool of "I don't know", if you kept searching until you found the answers, no matter how absurd they might seem to you, you would continue to follow a trail that would eventually reach a point or a scene frozen in time. Something that you carry with you and was so buried that, without realizing it, it disappeared from your conscious memory and was placed in your unconscious, so that it continued to manifest situations in which you had to face similar things and you didn't even know why.

Sometimes it's not necessarily something that happened in your childhood, and it's just something that happened a long time ago and left a mark on you. Sometimes it is something that happened when you were a child. And sometimes, and more often than you might think, it is something that you carry over even from past lives.

As we have discussed in previous videos, time is a plastic thing that moves back and forth in every possible and imaginable direction. This could mean, depending on your point of view, that even though you may have lived a life on Earth for 35 years, that trauma that accompanies your unconscious was actually generated in one of your previous lives, which, according to your current perception, will occur in the future. And, at the same time, if you look back, you will always discover that something in your present life was the genesis of that trauma or insecurity.

As always, and as with everything else, there are different explanations for the same event, all of which are equally valid, and it is up to you to decide what is most important to you.

For example, if you were really lucky enough to remember several turning points in your lives that give meaning to what is tormenting you today, all of them as an equally valid explanation or cause, I recommend you work on all of them. Generally, though, you will notice that there will be one in particular that your attention will go to on its own, even if you try to give equal priority to all of them. This could be a sign of where you should put emphasis, what has marked you the most, and what your adma needs to heal the most.

But whatever it is, and whatever age or appearance you were at that time or set of situations that left a mark on you, I still call it a "wounded inner child". A child who was hurt badly, and lives inside you. Cohabited, insecure, angry, frustrated, misunderstood perhaps.

And why a child? Because we can all have our tougher side. We may all have matured a lot in our lives. We may have learned not to be naïve or overly innocent. We may have accumulated tons of knowledge in a lifetime, or several lifetimes. We may have had experiences that changed us forever.

But I am going to invite you to try to do one thing. Close your eyes. I'll try to help you concentrate with something that works for me. Concentrate. Try to keep your mind blank.

What can you see right now? You perceive this voice with which I am addressing you. You hear this music in the background. Everything is black, because your eyes are closed. But what else is there? There is someone else, isn't there? A presence. Your presence.

If you look closely at that presence, or that consciousness, you will notice that it is extremely familiar to you. It has been with you all your life, and for many, many more. Take your attention away from how your body feels, as much as possible, and focus only on that awareness. I will be quiet for a few seconds to let you try.

That presence, which is yourself, has been with you all this time and has lived all this with you. Some people feel it as their true essence which had been forgotten over the years, or rather in the background, and feel it as their inner child. As their purest version, before going through all that experience. Like meeting your version of the past.

However, it is not the past at all, because it has always been there with you; it is you. This is why I refer here to that part of us which is frozen in time, like a child. Because it is our essence, our consciousness, our point of attention, that is stuck in some moment or set of situations, wondering why it had to go through that, or what it did wrong to manifest something like that.

And although indeed everything happens for a reason, and from more conscious planes we put ourselves in certain situations to experience, the truth is that from the present experience we must learn to control our ideas, our thoughts, our patterns, which are the ones that will end up shaping our unconscious to manifest what we become.

But in order to do so, it is necessary to learn to control those patterns, and that implies healing the wounds that do not allow us to move forward as we wish. And I'm afraid the only way to do that is to find the reason why that child is crying, and that requires extensive and often painful shadow work. Because it is often about seeing what we have buried and no longer want to see, in removing the things that hurt us and looking our fears and insecurities in the eye, with the firm purpose of becoming the best version of yourself and moving forward.

As a hint, or to help you get to that point, I can tell you to ask yourself endless questions. What things bother me? Why do they bother me? How long have they bothered me? When was the first time I remember feeling that way?

Don't allow yourself to give evasive answers and strive to find convincing answers, as honestly as possible and without shame or rejection of you. Or even if you feel such shame or rejection, rather.

If you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, embarrassed, ashamed or sad, that's where you're doing well. Keep going until you find it. Travel to those hard moments and encourage that little big part of you to rise up. To become the best version of yourself. To move forward and grow with pride and nobility.

Once you find the reason why your child is crying, you can try repeating that approach you experienced a few minutes ago and be there for him or her. For yourself.

Accept responsibility for your actions, your thoughts and the circumstances around you, because it is necessary for growing up and for understanding and being able to handle situations later on. But don't let that ever turn into a feeling of guilt. You were learning. You didn't know that would happen, and you didn't know that it would mark you so much. We are the best we can be with the information we have at any given moment, and you are more experienced now. I'm sure your intention was always good.

Learn from your mistakes, but don't let those mistakes become traumas that prevent you from seeing or enjoying the good things you have now or could have. Face your fears and insecurities with that child, holding your hand. He or she will always be with you, and vice versa. Always be willing to understand him or her.

Give life a chance and give yourself a chance to live it as you deserve. Love that child, that presence that will always be with you, take care of him, and discover how much they can improve and how they can become their best version. Believe in yourself. I do.

May you have a happy reunion.

Za'el of Erra.